2O12.

Every year without fail, I'll make resolutions, same old new ones.  Resolutions from past years that didn't resolve will be brought forward to this year !!! 

But I am already in my mid 20s. I guess, its the time to stop acting like a baby. So I will therefore,

1) Act like my real age....

2) KICK start my career.

3) Be completely $$$ independent.

4) Learn to accept everyone's flaws and stop complaining

5) Slim down....YET AGAIN. 

But this time I am serious (as with every beginning of a new year, where u feel more determined haha).

But I think I am really serious this time. Time is not waiting for me, if I continue the same lifestyle, I will never be able to look better if I continue procrastinating. Wrinkles ARE popping (and so are pimples WTF) . 

Since I am going to be away from Eddie, this means I will have a lot more time for myself and I am going to spend every minute of it, improving myself not only physically but intellectually!

Anyway.... I wanna aim for ...

 \

A really, really tone body. Not muscular, but tone, exactly like the one above. 

I don't know how I am going to do it, but right now...its now or never T.T Hopefully I earn enough to hire a personal trainer, or get a good gym buddy ^^ We can help motivate each other yo !!!  If not, I'll be running alone 247 in the gym/at home ........

I remember last time when I was skinnier...I wasn't happy with the way I looked even though I have reached my targeted weight... I was extremely flabby. So right now I'll aim for tone and of course lose a lot bit of the excess fats.

Too high a target ? I hope by end of 2012, I'll be at least half way...

PS. im really really excited to be going back to Malaysia for good :D:D:D 

In my stomach

2x bread + 1 avocado + ketchup at 9am = 350 cals
2x bread + 1 avocado + ketchup at 5.30pm = 350 cals
1x Regular Chatime Bubble Tea at 7.30pm= 350 cals
1x bread at 11.30pm= 90 cals

Total up to :  1140 calories !!!

Trying to starve myself skinny, and see if it works !

What I Ate Today.

Just bored !!

Short of money, can't go out, nothing to talk, but feel like crapping, so talk about food I eat , since I already talked about shows I watched. How boring is my life ?!

Looked for jobs but none called back yet, probably going to look for more tomorrow.

So I didn't sleep the whole night, and at around 9am I felt like throwing up. Acid reflux. A burn in my esophagus -_- It was quite bad, so I chow down a slice of bread to keep whatever's trying to come out of my mouth, in.

Then around 12pm, ate 2 slices of bread + 1 avocado + ketchup !

Slept from 1pm till 5.30pm. Woke up, Eddie was pigging out on KFC in the living room, so I joined him. Ate like about 3 chips and 3 popcorn chicken + 1 mouth of mash and gravy.

While eating those, I was cooking wanton ! Ate 9 boiled wanton for dinner at around 7pm.

11.30pm just now, hungry, ate a slice of bread + low salt margarine ( 0 hydrogenated oil), and 2x sour sugar strips candy.

In total I ate about 4 slices of bread (334cals), 1 small avocado + margarine + ketchup(250cals), 9 wanton (350cals), some kfc (200cals) and 2 candy (150cals).

thats approximately. . 1300k cals today !! Not very accurate cause the calories are what I think it is but should be around there.

But..  :O nowonder I feel so lethargic and lifeless. But woohoo to dieting.

Weight issues ( like whats new right ? -_-)

Ok, got to write stuffs here before my friends all complain I spam my Twitter too much.

Lately , being unemployed ,I have been watching A LOT of reality shows. Not a lot as in varieties, but loadsa episodes from Hell's Kitchen,  and my current favourite ...Supersize VS Superskinny.

Hell's Kitchen is bad for me - for one, toooooo much food talking which made me wanting to eat ALL THE TIME. And also, as you all know, it's the foul mouth Gordon Ramsey who's the host, and guess who the new Gordon Ramsey yo ?! -_- MUA. Been using "stupid cow" and "dumbo" on Eddie. Lucky he doesn't feel anything HAHA.

Supersize VS Superskinny...I absolutely love this show. Not only they're made in the UK (sexy accent man) but also, I can really related to this reality show because they bring together an obese and a skinny person, to swap their food for 5 days. Meaning for 5 days, obese person eat skinny person's food (and portion), and vice versa. A qualified doctor is the host of the show. There are a lot more to it , watch it for yourself. I want to talk about me now.


I was both morbidly obese before, and also suffered anorexia during high school ( I am not stick skinny because it was short lived la, dad found out). SEE , fucking weight issues & peer pressure.

When I was reaching the peak of my weight (approx 13 years old), I only knew that food makes me happy. I didn't know how to lose weight then, cause I thought we'll keep growing and growing as we age. I thought fat/obese is the way I am suppose to look from birth, as how skinny people are suppose to look. I thought looks are destined. Not something we can change.  Guys made fun of me the whole time. Whilst I secretly liked a few guys before, I hated guys more than anything. I liked them but I always imagined a future life of me alone in a hut (of all kinds of houses) and a cupboard full of my big baggy comfy clothes -_-

Until that one fateful day, I can't take it anymore, and having someone to believe in me for the first time,  it was world-changing. Read more here

Then it took me 3 years to slim down to look like a normal overweight girl. I was really happy when I can finally fit into an XXL size, and didn't have to tailor make my school uniform... And at 16 years old, I turned anorexic. I remembered eating Jacob's high fibre low-salt biscuit/cracker.

 2-5 pieces per day, for 2 weeks ! Some days I skipped eating altogether and just drink water. On top of that, I exercised. Little - no food and exercise. I lost 6kg in an instant. But my skin was yellow and pale, I look lifeless and I was balding ! Well friends complimented that I am looking better as I got skinnier, but dad thought otherwise. He noticed almost immediately that I was suffering from anorexia. The first week I lied to him that I ate already before going out dinner with them family. Second week I tried the same thing, but he just told me off to "I WANT TO SEE YOU EAT AND FINISH UP YOUR RICE.DON'T BE STUPID"

Well, my dad is quite smart la, so that exact sentence kinda woke me up actually. Didn't know how that simple sentence made me realise I was doing it all wrong, and I started eating normally. That 6 kgs...came back almost immediately (took less than a week!)


Okay, back to the show..

I find it really unfair. I actually eat as much as those "Super Skinny" people. Maybe there are many other factors, but still, we ate little calories.  I always limit myself to approximately 1.4k calories per day.

As I may post a lot of food pictures, portraying that I eat a lot, it's actually quite the opposite. I eat normally. Some girls I know, eat fruits only the whole day. But I have more varieties.

Like whenever I eat outside, I always leave 1/4 to half my portion untouched. Hardly finish my food, unless I skipped a meal. If I cooked, its mostly soupy based stuff, or things with a lot of veggies + fish and hardly any oil. Whenever I eat bread, it's usually 1-2 slices for a meal. If I do eat 3-4 slices, it's brunch.

Heck, lately I eat damn little :( Starving most of the days because I don't have money to eat. Like today, I ate 2 small slices of bread and 1egg omelet for brunch, and ate outside noodles half portion for early dinner. At night when I got hungry, I drank bubble tea -_- (green lemon tea with rainbow jelly and aloe vera, less sugar). I only consumed about 1k calories at most today ! I walked a lot today too :( So 2bread +1egg, half plate noodle and 1 bubble tea today.


But why am I not even near their weight !? 

Some days I do binge eat, but its like say less than 10 days a year?

Haihs.

=]

Again work has sucked the life and time out of me and also some drama at Twitter!

Had the biggest argument with one of my closest cousin ever over there but its over. We're good now. I have said things I should'nt have said and didn't meant things I said.

But ironicly, I was laughing 80% of the time!! I've been a very happy person of late. Except yesterday night when things got a bit serious, especially when some topic touched on my mom, and we argued until 4am (Aussie time)!

But glad things are cleared now.

Gawd, spent whole Saturday rotting in the room, finishing 1.5 pack of TIMTAMS (and 2kgs of blood oranges- no need to emphasize so much cause its not as deadly as chocolates in the diet world)!


F UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU chocolates for being freaking hell addictive! Won't buy you regardless of all the antioxidants you provide. Seriously, for all the calories it contains, people probably look younger from chocolate because it fattens you up and smoothen wrinkles rather than the antioxidant thingy.

Didn't exercise and all I did was EAT. Cause I don't know. Probably deserve a break for working 5 days a week, and also worked out after work that whole 5 days! It was freaking exhausting. Many times I exercised with my eyes half closed -_- Even my heart pumping and all, huffing and puffing, I was still tired but pushing myself. Stand whole day from 9/10am morning till almost 6pm for 5 days and exercised an hour + after that leh!

But feeling guilty. Next week's my birthday, probably celebrate with loads of food and then go back to square 1 =(

Nahhhhhhhh maybe not. Will slack only on my birthday!

I love my legs right now. More like thighs lah.  HAHAHAHAHA. Thanks , cardiovascular.

I used to feel that cellulite are growing all over, but exercise really did fight them off ! Tomorrow got to exercise again!!!! argh.

But have you ever feel that you look a couple years younger RIGHT after a good workout? Each time after exercising, I will look at myself in the full length mirror at gym ... albeit looking gross, sweat everywhere , but hair was pulled off my face and I can see every "pixel" of my face clearly.  Wrinkles was gone, pores was no where in sight...and I feel heaps happier! =D

But like an hour after that they come back la, but still...somehow I feel its fighting age off ! ^^

Why so cheating one!

Sigh, been cheating a lot on my diet lately. Had Kinder Bueno yesterday, and KIT KAT CHUNKY in Cookies and Cream flavour TODAYYYYYY!!!!! 

Just suddenly crave chocolates! Been snacking A LOT on nuts also....and nuts can make me bloat up within a night! Diuzzzzzz.. And I have about a week's supply of nuts. In form of mixed nuts, nut bar, and  also in form of small 1 serving kinda boxes like : 

to control my nut intake (it's also the exact nut brand I have right next to me, tempting me to savour it!). 

Honestly, eating from a bag..regardless of it being 100g to 1kg , I can finish it all in one sitting. 

Nuts are soooo addictive! 

Anyway, I've been working a lot lately, it's exhausting. Regular customers commented that I look tired today, and so, I skipped gym today (eventhough I ate chocolate yesterday and today!). 

But I had a good workout session yesterday night, body ache whole day today morning =D 

Anyway, I also bought salmon to pamper myself :

Cooked my stupid tofu with my mushroom.

I impulse-bought my tofu, thinking it's healthy and I should consume more of it. Then when I had it in my fridge, it was sitting there for 3 days, and me not knowing what to do with it (don't know what style to cook it with). Then I just take out only and stir fry -_-.

I like tofu but in fish soups (too much work and time consuming) , claypot tofu (too fattening), fancy steam tofu with meat on top ( C.B.F.) ...hahaha in the end stir fry only loh.

Taste quite horrible, cause the tofu taste is too strong! Don't know what kind of super organic and authentic tofu I bought. Some more I stir fry only without much taste. In the end, I chow down everything with Tobasco sauce. YUM.

Z END.

Sighhhh...

All flights out of Melbourne/ NZ/ Tasmania are cancelled/delayed because of the ash from a volcano in Chile that is about to erupt but still not quite. It's like farting only, waiting for the shit to come out.

I've got a holiday planned next week (June 20th), going down to Sydney from Canberra. I am not directly affected, but Eddie will be flying down to Sydney from Melbourne!!!

I've been looking forward to this 8 days holiday with Eddie and friends :( It's still a week away...........it's ONLY a week away (geddit?) !!!

This ash cloud was from the volcano on June 5th !! It's June 13th now. 1 week....more ash?? Please stop being constipated, volcano. 

......

Talking about healthy food prices, time to eat my own words....they are really expensive :(

Cherries = $10 !!!! 

Organic kiwi  x6 =  $4.99!!!

AUD52.15 on mostly fruits!!!! How la..

Wanted to buy Blueberries, but a 3/4 cup of blue berries = whopping $9.99!!!  wth!!!

Too expensive!! :(  I tried to think of ways to afford everything organic, but I can't. This AUD52.15 bill is the highest price I've paid for my grocery for 1 person , and only 1 item is organic. 

And I am not done buying some more.. the reason I stopped shopping was cause the cart was getting too heavy. Going to quit eating cereals, and start eating oats instead. They are toooo high in sugar........! But wait till I finish my cereals first lah, sighhhhh. 

High cost of living sucks. 

Healthy food taste bad?! Saying I have bad taste ar!

Reading this article : http://www.fooducate.com/blog/2010/11/28/40-of-shoppers-healthy-food-tastes-bad/

Proves that people are not knowledgeable when it comes to what to consume, and what is healthy , what nots.

I won't deny the fact that unhealthy food is yummy, I just had 3 BOWLS OF PORK FLOSS FOR SUPPER AT MIDNIGHT!! I was tempted to eat it at 9-10pm, but told myself, I shouldn't ..but when the clock strikes 12am, hell broke loose. I binged instead thus 3 BOWLS of :

Moral of the story...don't be too strict on yourself T.T

But that doesn't mean healthy food is not nice. Ya, trying to call me a hypocrite cause I ate something unhealthy while claiming healthy food is yummy and why am I not eating healthy food as supper.

I just had a particular craving for pork floss. I always have cravings, be it as healthy as tomatoes, apples (finished 2 bags of apples in 4 days =/ had 3 apples for dinner just now), muesli.. to as unhealthy as chips, french fries and pork floss.

How hard is it to prepare healthy tasty meal? Just throw all the raw food together in a saucepan , stir fry it , when done, sprinkle with sea salt/ chilli powder/ herbs/ freshly grind black pepper etc! At least that's what I've been having. Or throw everything into a pot and make soup.

When it comes to grocery shopping, just choose food that is at its original form, not packaged ..ie. meat that turned into frozen nuggets/sausages(try to avoid sausages!! loads of preservatives and are made of bad, rejected meat that are seasoned heavily) , or potatoes that turn into frozen chips...etc.

Oats, muesli , nuts..they are super yummy to me! In fact I love healthy food so much until they become unhealthy for me cause.. I consume too much lor.

Like few weeks ago, I got addicted to this super fibre that I sprinkle on my muesli..ate too much of them and didn't drink a lot of water = constipation,uneasy bowel + bloated.

I love nuts so much...they get me really addicted to them and I can finish 500g (half a kg!!!) of nuts within 2 days.

Manuka honey is yummy and its super healthy. What's so hard making them? Just take a spoonful and dilute it luke warm water. Easier than making coffee what.  Best is when you chill them after diluting them ...HEAVEN!!!! 

I don't really like gassy drinks as they make me burp A LOT, and well, sugary drinks make me guilty.

I like tea..chinese tea, green tea, jasmine tea. kuan yin tea...they are like flavoured water ! Not really a fan of English tea with its added milk and sugar.

Fish are just like other meat, they are freaking nice(ate fish everyday for 2 weeks when I first came to Canberra- was addicted to fish)! But why people prefer the tougher meat like beef, lamb, pork? Chicken and turkey also dam nice what. If ostrich meat is easily available, I will so buy them/ replace chicken with ostrich. Ostrich meat is freaking healthy one weh, and I ate them before, NICE!!

Maybe different people different preferences lah. But healthy food , apart from being yummy, it gives me a good feeling about what I've ate.

Like after eating a bag of chips or pork floss, my stomach got 1 weird feeling one...as oppose to eating 3 apples and feel good.

Maybe healthy food are slightly more expensive, but why eat super cheap processed food when you're going to succumb to sickness early and spend more on your medical bills in future?

Aiyooooo Health is Wealth ! 

I want to live in a blue house!

I came across an article about how colours can affect people's perception towards food yesterday.

http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/food-science/how-color-affects-your-perception-of-food-096524

HENCE MY TITLE!!!! 

That is why McDonald is Red and Boost Juice is green?! And Biggest Loser and Fitness First being blue. haha. Make sense?!

I thought about all these while I was bathing 5minutes ago. In fact after putting some anti-aging cream and Vitamin E oil all over my face, I immediately sat right in front of my computer and started typing away.

This was cause yesterday night, I was freaking hungry, having only apples and oranges for dinner. So I took a bath while being hungry and after bathing I realised I am no longer hungry!! Coincidentally, I stumbled upon the article regarding colours and diets + how restaurant choose their theme colour to get people to pig out in their restaurant and stuffs....then comes to smells that suppresses hunger!

The smell of apple and mint makes you forget about hunger.

My body shampoo is apple scented and my toothpaste is obviously minty-ish.  

!!!!

Being someone who eats out of boredom and habit, I need a lot of blues, apples and mints! 

.....

I am in my baby-phase craze again!!! While gym-ing yesterday, there was this show being aired on one of the TVs in Fitness First about a 14 year old girl being a mother. Well, the first thing I felt was...jealousy. I am going to be in my mid-20s...the perfect biological time to have babies, but not so much financially (I am financially independent, but only earning enough money for myself T.T) and well, I am not married :( . 

It's like I just want to have a child. Whenever I think of babies, its just me and a baby. Father figure somehow not inside my imagination. haha. Not even close to marrying and here I am thinking about being pregnant and having a child- even naming it. HAHAHA. 

GOsh I am insaneeee

Lesson not learnt.

Just 2 days ago, I weighed myself, and felt extremely depressed, cause I didn't see any significant weight loss, even though I look slimmer physically.

I whined, talked to a few people, asking them why did I gain weight instead?! In fact I weigh lighter when I was fatter. Don't tell me I have loads of muscles now after 5 weeks of exercising vigorously and work?! Why my fats are still as clingy as ever!?

Even though weight is just a number, as long as my physique improved....... but I have always been very dependent on the scales to give me a rough estimation if I lost weight or not...because I don't quite believe what people tell me. To me, whatever positive stuff anyone say to me, are just white lies.


Mirror = TRUTH! 

So whenever I say I am fat, I NEVER expect people to say "No la, you're so slim and pretty and tall and fair..etc" .

Anyway to cut the crap, yesterday I had a sinful dinner T.T

First staff meeting for Boost Juice, to introduce us the new manager. A few staff didn't turn up, a few staff left immediately after meeting...but the boss already ordered 6 pizzas !!!!

6 pizzas to share among 7 remaining people. Panda and I really wanted to leave, but we felt bad somehow cause we're quite close to out boss (heh, we're good at ass kissing).

We ate in the dark!! Picture quality sucky cause it's pictures are from my BB.

I had....5 sinful slices!!! :'( TBH, I can eat more, but I stopped at 5 slices. Why some girls eat so little ???Make me feel like a pig because I can finish 1 whole pizza by myself !!!!!

Well,  the calories of 5 pizza is equivalent to 1 k calories. Gosh, I am heavy and yet I ate 1k calories for dinner.

Went to gym after that nasty fatty meal until the gym close. Burnt about 700-800 calories on cardio !!! Was so guilty that I powered up on all my exercises (rowing, elliptical , threadmill) and burnt that amount of calories within 1 hour 20minutes! My highest personal record ever!!

Then today morning have cereals (200 cals) and a nut bar (225 cals) , lunch had Sumo smoke salmon salad half wrap ( 350 cals) and a few Boost smoothie (600 cals)  ...I think I kinda overshot my calories intake for today, so went to gym after work (-700 cals ), and had 1 nut bar (225cals), 3 apples (210 cals) and 2 orange (100cals).

In total I consumed 1210 calories today!! Sigh , my BMR is only 1.4k (meaning when I lie down on my bed whole day, my body burn only 1.4k calories).

T.T But apples and oranges should'nt be too damaging T.T

Health and grocery shopping!

I love going grocery shopping! In fact I do that like at least 5 times per week.  And the last time I shopped for clothes to change wardrobe was December last year. Can you believe that? I did buy 1 piece of T shirt this year, but that was my uniform for Passionflower, and money spent on that shirt was donated to the Queensland flood.

Usually after gym, I spend about at least 20minutes up to almost 2 hours on my own walking in Supabarn (main super market for Canberra). I really LOVE this place. It is bigger than Coles and Woolsworth (main supermarket for Melbourne), and there are way more varieties of stuffs in there! 

No thanks to my obsession with health lately, I never fail to come home with goodies. Discounted groceries makes me crazy. Few days ago, they had like AUD2 per pack of cherry tomatoes, I bought 8 boxes. -_-

There are just so many things I want to buy! Like Lecithin (for brain and cholesterol), more muesli, more fruits, and I buy cherry tomatoes almost on a daily basis. Just loveeee cherry tomatoes! 

So I am actually broke now because I cook at home, not cause I eat out.

But here's my "loot" for today! 

Iodised Sea Salt, Chili powder and black peppercorns! 

From what I know, about 2 billion people in the world suffers from iodine deficiency - meaning they are at risk of getting goiter (thick big necks). Our body needs very little amounts of iodine, but yet a lot of us don't usually consume them. They are mainly found in sea weed, fishes, and whatever from the sea.

Back in Melbourne, I always eat organic kelps for my daily dose of iodine. Whenever I cook, I'll throw in handful of them.

After moving to Canberra, I just feel uneasy. Panda's mother had goiter, and had to go through years of surgery to remove them. So I'll just do what I can to prevent them!

So benefits of Iodine Salt :
1) Improve Thyroid function
2) Improve Brain Function
3) Healthy pregnancies 
4) Fight depression 
5) Weight Control (woohoo)
6) Irritable Bowel Syndrome
7) Improve Appearance
8) Remove toxins
9) Fights cancer 
10) Heart Health 

Read more yourself from this webbie : http://www.3fatchicks.com/10-benefits-of-using-iodized-salt/

And I bought iodinised sea salt, not processed salt ! heh.


As for the chili powder, some spice in your food will increase metabolism, and if you eat super spicy, can increase up to 50% !

Lastly, the black peppercorns..the benefits read from here ! http://www.naturalremediesblog.net/top-10-health-benefits-of-black-pepper/

Don't want to bore anyone with so much facts !

Ok fine, I summarize :

1) Aid digestion

2) Help relieve cough and colds

3) Can fight cancer

4) MAY help in weight loss

5) Improve skin condition

6) Promotes absorption of nutrients

7) Fight tooth decay :O 

8) Natural anti-depressant

9) Antioxidant

10) Reduce inflammation.

My friend has the normal ground black pepper powder, but I prefer it if I grind it myself, hence buying the black peppercorn with the grinder on top. This is because some of the nutritional stuff in the black pepper can oxidize, so we're just eating for the taste, and it doesn't benefit us that much.

I cooked my dinner just now, used all 3 items that I bought up there. There was a really huge difference between using ready-grounded black pepper and the black pepper I grind fresh. The scent was stronger, the taste was more obvious and I didn't use a lot ! 

Ok this is getting too long.

Bai ! 

Muffin top ! :(

Didn't go to the gym yesterday and today...worse part is that, I felt chubbier already.

Been working a lot instead, and my body was extremely exhausted.

So was in the mood to watch Biggest Loser Australia 2011 today..the concept this season is really interesting. The personal trainers have to spend the first week, living in the house of the participants (ie obese people), eating what they eat, and not exercising at all.

It was a shocker...when they weigh themselves after 1 week.

All the personal trainers gained at least 5kgs A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy #$@%$#%# !!!

I thought the more muscles you have, the higher your metabolism...some more the personal trainers didn't really eat exactly what the obese people eat..they puked it out..so how?! How did they gain 5kgs in A WEEK!

I don't want to exercise my life away (its really tiring), I want to eat food without counting the calories , so hard to enjoy life ! Either you eat happily and look really sad , or eat like a bird and look good.

Furthermore, in 3 weeks time, I'll be taking 1 week off gym , going for holidays (Sydney and Melbourne)...eating ....not really moving...I don't want to gain all the excess fats I've lost!!!

How to get the best of both worlds? :'(

But tomorrow I am going to the gym for hoursssss , to make up for lazy yesterday and today.

Oh oh, hehehe,

the pants I wore up there..

2 months ago when I was back in Melbourne...I can't even button that jeans pants! It was sooooo freaking tight, even breathing out all the air from my body + sucking the tummy, I just can't button it.

So I brought that pants over to Canberra, I tried it today, and woohoo, I can wear them again! =D Just that I have a slight.."muffin top" . hahahaha. 

Never mind, soon it'll be hanging off my butt like the picture up there! Just wait! 

Going to buy weighing machine soon! Panda and I have been in denial...and didn't dare to weigh ourselves, hence no weighing machine in Canberra at all ! Another 1 more month...I'll be buying it no matter what ! 

Got slimmerrrrr or not !

After 1 month of vigorous exercise (and pigging out a couple of times), cheating a little here and there because mouth itchy ...

finally took a picture of myself! 

More like a screen shot , Skyped with  Eddie after gym :

(excuse my leg, hahaha I can be very impolite most of the time at times! )


Maybe I should take monthly photos to see my progress ?!

But do I look SLIGHTLY slimmer ? T.T Eddie said I look the same, when I thought I really did slim down a little, especially my chin area (don't compare with the picture on the right :S Used my hair to cover my fat cheeks).

Sigh guys suck, they can never tell the difference, even when you dyed your hair (true story)!

A treat!

Woo, its a brand new week, and in 1 week of dieting, you can indulge yourself in fatty / high calorie food approximately 3 times/meals.

Today's Tuesday, and I already indulged TWICE. haha.

Yesterday had fried mihun, curry chicken and fried honey chicken.

Today, =D breakfast ~

At a famous breakie place in Canberra:

Pronounced as "sai lo". Why all these words white people can pronounce when these words sound like chinese, but when we teach them actual chinese words they can't really pronounce. weird. 

CARB & SUGAR HEAVENNNNNNNNNNNNNN :

But even though I let loose a little on my diet, I still eat moderately....(I hope). I don't go entirely crazy with my food and its portion. I didn't eat 3 meals at one go =]

Out of all the choice, I chose ONLY this chocolate thingy :

 T.T The old me would've chose at least 2.

Really yummy !

It's rich and not too sweet. Just nice :o)

Panda's choice:

 Black Forest.

Hehe, even though I only ordered just one Chocolate pie/cheese thingy :

My plate has some smoked salmon and mushrooms.

Heh!

But not too fatty (I hope). Cause I've read somewhere that a slice of cheesecake can contain up to 700calories !!!!!

Arhhhhhhh. My cheesy chocolate thing should be around 400calories?! Lucky it's for breakfast.

After breakfast I went to work, barely ate anything and only sip leftover smoothie for 7 hours, and then ate a raisin bun +  70calories yogurt for dinner!

Not too bad huh !

But skipped gym today =( Supposed to go, but finished work late, and was extremely exhausted.

.....................

Remember I kept bitching about my new boss?
Well, today we bonded.
An irresponsible colleague of mine left work 3 hours early because she's lazy. She gave some lame excuse la, but to cut story short, SHES FKIN LAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So only me and my boss managed Boost Juice TOGETHER!!! My boss is new to Boost because he just bought this business 3-4 months ago. I just turned a month old in Boost today.

From 3pm till 5pm, people just keep coming. Just two of us. Running from register/cashier, to making the drinks (at least 4-5 drinks per time), to washing the jugs, to refilling yogurts (for the drinks), to juicing fresh fruit. WE BOTH DID IT.

Sales for that 2 hours was AUD520. Thats about at least 100+ drinks in 2 hours for 2 person ! It was intense and finish work 2 hours later cause of cleaning.

And my boss said "Wow, we did a good job. Some more your only about 2.5months old. But we did it !"

hehe, I am only a month old, boss.

But he was really impressed that WE (both him and I) made it, just the two of us, and we chatted while cleaning.

There were times we feel like giving up, and my boss even had the "Closing Early" sign standby, but it was just sooo busy that we just do whatever is on hand first. By the time the crowd died down, it was 4.40pm. 20minutes more to the actual closing time. So we might as well go on.

Morale of the story - suffer first and feel happy for enduring.

T.T When can I eat real food.

If the world really ends 5 months later (according to some preacher - read from CNN) or even next year, I'll be really pissed.

Gone were the days where I eat real junk food.

Mc Donald's apple pie  (got this picture off internet). I love Mc D's apple pies. =( 

AND 

Cheesecake - my ultimate favourite cake flavour T.T

Going on a diet is sosososoooooooooooooooooo hard ! 

Now I have to live with these :

Boohoo. T.T 

Doesn't really taste like the real thing but minus the guilt.

Sigh, but never mind, persevere and results will come T.T 

Yogurt Trend.

I know 'yoghurt' is spelt as 'yoghurt', but I prefer spelling yogurt and it's a valid word and meant the same as yoghurt minus the 'H'. I don't know, it just looks wrong when you split yoghurt into two words its yog-HURT. It's healthy stuff ya know!

I've never been a yogurt person until the invention of Froyo - frozen yogurt. It was Love at first bite - I was hooked to froyo, spending AUD10 per Large yogurt almost everyday in Melbourne.

Since I moved to Canberra, I've been deprived of froyo. The only shop that sells froyo here...it doesn't even taste like one, and it's a sandwich shop that sells them.

So I've decided to find a proper substitute that would actually curb my cravings, and then I found THIS:

It's LOVE. 

It's the best watery yogurt I've ever tasted !!!!!! It has actual strawberry bits, and the best part is it has very low calories! Only 66 calories per serve. It's a 1kg tub, I did the calculation and....the total calories for the whole 1kg tub is ONLY 376 cals!!!!!

That's very little for 1kg.....100g of "low fat/baked not fried"chips is already 492 calories.

Oh well. I finished that 1kg in less than 24hours. Infact...lasted only 2 meals (dinner yesterday and breakfast today). It's insanely addictive!

Then cooked : 

for lunch and dinner.

It's super healthy eh. The only ingredient was cherry tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, chicken meat, spiral pasta (100% durum wheat & organic , ie more protein than carbs)  and salt and pepper. Tomatoes are extremely healthy and aids weight loss ! =D

So yeah, still dieting and gyming for 6-7 days a week ! Losing weight is hard but...

I'll quote Fitness First :

"Motivation is what gets you started, Habit is what keeps you going".

It's kinda my habit now to go to the gym, 1 day without gym makes me feel all guilty!

My body's in pain but I like it =]

Two days ago, after work (5.30pm), after working out ( 7.30pm) and after dinner (fish and veggies ) went for a girls night out. Boy, I had a great time, but how I wish I didn't indulge in fast food and loads of alcohol.

I had at least 3 drinks :

Had to help Panda drink because her tolerance for alcohol is horrible !

My new friend from Canberra and I  :

SHE'S ACTUALLY FROM GEELONG, MELBOURNE! My "hometown" in Australia!  Funny how we meet in Canberra, and her primary school (Roslyn Primary School) is the kids school I walk past to get home everyday in 2008. Nostalgic.

Well, Melbourne club is shit. In Canberra, after club hopping 3 times (every club is walking distance from each other), I've found one comparable to the clubs in KL !!!

 It's called Academy.

Freaking niceeeeeeee, music's good, ambience is beautiful. Only thing is that it's AUD5 per entry, BOOO. Every other club in Canberra its FREE to enter. But beats Melbourne club anytime, cause Melbourne's expensive, AUD15 AT LEAST ! And the ambience....kinda sucks, they never improve!

Pizza sellers outside :

 It was tempting.

It's like every shop was calling out to me to buy PIZZA, and it's only AUD2 or AUD3 (depending on flavours and shops) per slice ! Cheap and yummy looking.

Melbourne should have this! Rather than us all having to go to Melbourne Central to have our supper after clubbing. Actually, maybe not. Cause we might still be tempted to go to restaurants, after eating a slice of pizza outside club. That'll be adding calories !

Better be the one selling then! Good money I assume cause so many people were doing it!

Well, time to weigh my 'food sins' now. Its bad :( The amount of alcohol I consumed its at least 500-600 calories over there. Since I have calories deficit cause I went to the gym before, it's all good.

Until I decided to eat McDONALDS.

My friend wanted to pig-out and she bought a lot ! Imagine 20 piece McNuggets, 1 Chicken McBites (something like popcorn chicken) , 1 large fries, and 1 apple pie. Shared among 2 people. We finished it.

I ate 1 apple pie, 3pieces of nuggets, 3 pieces of McBites,  and half fries.

I used online calculator to calculate the amount of calories I've consumed AT 2AM....

....

FREAKIN  600+ cals !!!! =(

The next day , I bloated up instantly, regardless of me working out at least 1-2 hours 6 days a week for the past 2 weeks.

So the next day, after work (shift ended at 5pm), I told myself to DOUBLE UP WHATEVER SHIT I EXERCISED). I did.

Worked out for at least 2.5 hours. Burnt 700calories purely on cardio (threadmill, elliptical, rowing and exercycle), and I did a lot of weights and abs exercise. Hopefully, I lose 1k calories over there =D That's 1.5x more than my usual exercise routine.

And when I woke up today, ugh, my body is in PAIN. My arms, my legs, my abs tummy. I feel crippled.

But it's a good pain. Signs that I've worked out pretty much almost every part of my body.

I am going to the gym later AGAIN.

This is what I had for breakfast :

Low fat cereals with low fat milk.

That''s about 250 calories I think. Or 300. Better to overestimate than underestimate.

Heading to the gym in 2-3 hours time. =)

Actually, I don't know how much I weigh , but...even if I know, it'll be embarrassing to tell it out here. But I am planning to lose at least 5 kgs!

Counting calories consumed is my daily obsession now.

Diets. I need a husky.

I have enough of people telling me I look different from last few years!

Especially when I had not one but TWO BLOWS today, people unable to recognize me on the streets. They said I looked tired. Eyebags more visible. Put on weight. I looked more energetic last time.

So I stumbled upon a blog , recommending a simple detox plan :

well I like all those fruits stated up there, and it's only for 3 days!

Most detox I've read about lasts as long as a week. Wah, CBF (can't be f*ked) doing it :S

Bought a 1 way ticket to Canberra, leaving as soon as next Thursday...me and my bestie, we can do this losing weight together =D

"I need a Husky" means I am fat.

"You need a Husky" means you're fat.

Lame, but few days ago, at a friend's house warming...met this pet lover that said Husky is one of the most high maintenance/difficult dog to take care of. When the weather is hot, they need to be kept in a room with airconditioner ON. 

Worse thing is that, THEY NEED TO BE WALKED 4KM ! 

4km per day is a lot of walk. Last time I run on the threadmil 3km a day, everyday, within 1 month lost 5kg.   4KM???

I REALLY NEED A HUSKY ! heh.  

It's a more indirect way to tell a fat person that they need to lose weight, too! haha.

Egg Diet.

Okay, so many people told me I have put on weight. Told me that I have a nice face but body..not so nice. Said that I'll look better if I slim down. Claimed that I'll be HAWT STUFF if I lose that excess weight (dude, who won't be man if they lose weight)!

So I think to myself, I am already at this age, and it won't be long till no matter how much weight I lose, I can't be young & hot anymore. I heard that our prime time is around 24 - 26 years old ( if you lead a stress free life).

So I have decided to DIET. I am on an egg diet now. More like eggs-only-for-dinner. Yeah, I ACTUALLY EAT EGGS NOW.

I used to loathe eggs a lot, especially boiled eggs. Now, no choice but to add soy sauce and chomp them down. I actually learned to love them!

I eat proper lunch, but eat till I am contented. Not full.

Breakfast ? MUESLI with OATS + Milo + Manuka Honey !

Am I healthy or what.

They actually taste really really really yummy ! Especially my so-called liver cleansing Muesli that I bought from Coles. They have sunflower seeds inside, and many other kinds of seeds or kuaci.

Kuaci just brings back those childhood days.... I used to watch TVB dramas with my grandmother and she will peel kuaci skins off for me IN BULK and hand it over for me to enjoy eating it without having to remove its skin. :( Miss those days. Now? She's bedridden, suffering from osteoporosis. Doesn't even watch dramas anymore. Even if she does, I am not even there. Le sigh.

Just worried that I might not see her again. Just a thought. Not cursing. Touching every wood I have.

:(

Finally, Eddie can't take it anymore. He blurted out today :

"I think....it is time for you to start losing weight"

When I heard that, I got extremely depressed ! I know that I have gain A LOT OF WEIGHT.

It's really sad. I cried actually. I know it's true, I am out of shape.

Many times, I've complain about my weight issue, over here, over Twitter, over Facebook, face to face, on the phone, through messages, SMS, EMAILS.....and nothing seems to have changed.

Truth is, each time I complain, I do lose a little for a short period of time, and then they go up again ! And that's when I start complaining for going back to SQUARE 1....my weight, they are extremely YO-YO. 

I am tired. Having to face this battle all the time. Why can't I be like other people. Eat normal, and MAINTAIN.

I've been working a lot lately, too ....walk , stand, clean, sweat doing those... I've stopped pigging out on ice cream since weeks ago, even if I do consume them, it is in very small quantities ( 1 teeny scoop). Still, my weight stays up, and still increasing.

I eat two normal meals a day - meat rice vegetables. 

What did I do in my past life to deserve this life :( The only way to maintain weight, it seems...is to eat fruits and nothing else..