I yam lay Z

Not very hard to guess my title ahahaha.

Been back in Malaysia since 29Jan and all I did was laze around and go out OCCASIONALLY.

Weather's been too hot, my heart's been missing my bf, did loadsa "retail therapy", spent almost RM5K (don't know how the F I did that), got myself curfew-ed by my dad...yada yada drama.

Also, I realised my old friends has changed and groups & groups of them have split up. Like they don't hang out with each other anymore, and I find it awkward for them to ask them out together. So I've been hanging out with like people 1 by 1. Le sigh.  Worse thing was that they are all guys -_-. I've like easily 6-8 guy friends to hang out with and only a group of girls !

Can't hang out with my night time buddies anymore, too cause one more time I come back before 12am, I think I will suffer from hearing problems. Parents will scream like they never scream before x10.

Are all these caused by the really hectic working life of my friends' ? Or the fact that I didn't come home for 2 years, hence we grew apart?

Things seriously changed greatly.

 A photo of a picture of myself in my iPod which I gave to Eddie :(

Will update more la, only manage to upload 1 picture cause my net suddenly turned sucky !



Rants:
Honestly I have probs hanging out with most girls. They need to be fetched, sent home, pampered, given in to...and then hear them all whine whole day especially on why no guys go after them. hellooo??? u're mid 20s , and if no guys ever went after u, u needa do a personality check YO !!! 


If you're not very attractive, then u gotta invest a little in ur personality. Also, times has changed....guys are fussy in this time we're in , and if got to fetch u, and then send u home and all, u think so free arh? Jam everywhere somemore.  We girls have to depend on ourselves on everything already. I really feel like a man each time I hang out with girls like that. I am a girl, too u know.


I believe we girls n guys have the same role. If we need to meet somewhere, we make our own way there, unless we live like super near la. Pissed off ! 

2O12.

Every year without fail, I'll make resolutions, same old new ones.  Resolutions from past years that didn't resolve will be brought forward to this year !!! 

But I am already in my mid 20s. I guess, its the time to stop acting like a baby. So I will therefore,

1) Act like my real age....

2) KICK start my career.

3) Be completely $$$ independent.

4) Learn to accept everyone's flaws and stop complaining

5) Slim down....YET AGAIN. 

But this time I am serious (as with every beginning of a new year, where u feel more determined haha).

But I think I am really serious this time. Time is not waiting for me, if I continue the same lifestyle, I will never be able to look better if I continue procrastinating. Wrinkles ARE popping (and so are pimples WTF) . 

Since I am going to be away from Eddie, this means I will have a lot more time for myself and I am going to spend every minute of it, improving myself not only physically but intellectually!

Anyway.... I wanna aim for ...

 \

A really, really tone body. Not muscular, but tone, exactly like the one above. 

I don't know how I am going to do it, but right now...its now or never T.T Hopefully I earn enough to hire a personal trainer, or get a good gym buddy ^^ We can help motivate each other yo !!!  If not, I'll be running alone 247 in the gym/at home ........

I remember last time when I was skinnier...I wasn't happy with the way I looked even though I have reached my targeted weight... I was extremely flabby. So right now I'll aim for tone and of course lose a lot bit of the excess fats.

Too high a target ? I hope by end of 2012, I'll be at least half way...

PS. im really really excited to be going back to Malaysia for good :D:D:D 

I dream a dream..

According to Buddhism/Taoism , if you dreamt of someone who passed away, it means that they are visiting you.

According to science, it simply means you think of them a lot /at the back of your head, hence triggered such dreams which are basically thoughts when you were sleeping.

Couple of days ago, I dreamt of my grandfather - AGAIN ! It's my third time dreaming about him. Twice few months before he passed away, and this third time. It was the night of the last day of Hungry Ghost Festival was "celebrated" in my area back home in Malaysia(7th/8th August).

I've told a few people that I will regret for the rest of my life for not going back to see my grandfather and spend time with him months before he left me forever. 

In the first dream of him (July last year), he asked me how LONG he have to wait for me to go back home (in Hokkien). I told him 3 months. September (I think), I dreamt of him again, but it was just glimpses of him...was he like reminding me to remember to go back for him?

After all that, I still stayed in Australia, not moving an inch towards home. But I check almost everyday, with my cousins, parents, asking if my grandfather's alright. 

Then the day comes...December 10 2010. Still remembered everything clearly, me working, after work only read the SMS, and my dad calling me not to go back. But I insisted.

I felt regretful ! Somehow I felt that I made him wait too long ! Love U ah kong !! :(

Then the final dream was a bit weird. 

Somehow I have an iPhone in my dream and my grandfather was still alive in my dream. Throughout the days in my dream, we Whatsapped each other IN ENGLISH (my grandfather knows NO English!), can't really remember what we talked but I know that we said " I miss you" to each other. 

Then in my dream, he passed away, it was like his funeral all over again. 

It was horrible for the funeral part, but that dream made me feel like I was with him from before he passed on, till his funeral. 

Its like he wants me to not regret not being there with him. 

Let you all choose what you all want to believe lah. 

My families/relatives are all staunch Taoist and believe in late relatives visiting us and all. I don't know what to believe, but when I am in my emo mode, I'll think of the bright side of this dream , ie. he wants me to not blame myself ! 

But he's not the first person whom I've dreamt about. 

Last year when I played Ragnarok Online (RO), I had an online friend who passed away in January 2008..I dreamt about him telling me he wants to play RO with me. When he was alive, I played all these games with him. 

How bizarre. 

1 year closer to deathbed..

What is there to celebrate? 

I always find myself asking that.

Time is flying so quickly that I find it pointless celebrating birthdays, in fact..I don't like crowds anymore. I only like sharing this special date with my family members, bf and maybe small comfort crowd. To feel the undivided love they have for me on my "special" day - its enough. No need for presents, just the essentials ; food ( dinner, cake, etc).

I've had parties whereby almost 30people came over. Great big party, my apartment can barely fit everyone, food aplenty, games were wild.. but

Honestly?

It was tiring =( It felt more like having to entertain than be entertained. Even surprise parties....all I felt was obligation to talk to everyone, cause truly, I appreciate their thoughtfulness..but its just me.I am quite on the quiet side I guess. I can force myself to be all friendly and loud,but at the end of the day, I'd be exhausted mentally.

But I don't mind attending functions,as long as I am not the one organising ^^ & have to talk to everyone. 


Birthday... 1  year has passed. I feel more depressed than happy, like really.

Ever since understanding the meaning of death, the loss suffered, the pains that I went through, I wish time will just go  >>>>>slow<<<<<.

Also just had a taste of some bad news right before my birthday. Less of a reason to celebrate. That horrible,horrible news tied down my finances, thus ALSO deterring me from "going all out" on my birthday. On top of that, my return flight to Melbourne was cancelled. A whole lot of money is being wasted to buy new last minute tickets..

I came to Melbourne discreetly, not letting many people know, only a handful, and spend 2 good days alone and with Eddie. Was alone most of the time though, spending a little on food I've missed in Melbourne while giving a few working friends surprise visits to their bakery, cafe...etc.

In a dilemma. I miss my family very much and have an option to go back home for good within 2 months, or waste another 6 months here. Go back home, start on career, & leave a 4 year relationship or stay another 6 months, go back for good & also have a risk of losing a 4 year relationship.

I know the best answer to this, but 4 years to forget, will be like healing from a slit to the throat; death-like and probably need a miracle to recover.

Guys are aplenty. I know. I've dated a few, got together with a few...its hard to find one that I am comfortable with.

Yesterday while playing card games with my friends, seeing my guy friends attacking Eddie, bruising his ego, calling him ball-less for giving me the power to make decisions for him...and him taking it like that, and was not affected at all,my heart felt as if it has liquidfy/melted.

( quite a nice game!! Monopoly card game)

How to find a guy who loves me this much? Who looks out for me, who constantly cares, who ticks out the list of a good boyfriend (except being neat and tidy).

I am not really a good girlfriend material (maybe like Distinction level, not HD - ahaha ^^ ), because my temper is...indescribable.I am literally like a walking time bomb. Just yesterday, I waited 20 minutes for him to come home from work so that we can go out together, around town collecting my birthday freebies...the first stop was to Boost. The queue was long, and he waited with me for 5minutes, and said he can't wait in line with me cause he's too hungry.

I scolded him saying "I WAITED 20MINUTES FOR YOU, AND YOU WAIT 5MINUTES ONLY YOU MAKE NOISE, DON'T HAVE TO WAIT WITH ME LA". I stormed off and went to calm down, while he go buy his "lunch".

After I got my freebies alone,came back home...continued being pissed at him...and he called me to open the fridge. Inside were my favourite cakes and macaroons from my favourite shop. He explained that he couldn't wait with me cause he was worried the shop would close.

Sigh
All good things come to an end?

yumzzzz.

haha stupid picture of him lazing behind me,watching shows.

Sigh, tough decisions. 

=]

Again work has sucked the life and time out of me and also some drama at Twitter!

Had the biggest argument with one of my closest cousin ever over there but its over. We're good now. I have said things I should'nt have said and didn't meant things I said.

But ironicly, I was laughing 80% of the time!! I've been a very happy person of late. Except yesterday night when things got a bit serious, especially when some topic touched on my mom, and we argued until 4am (Aussie time)!

But glad things are cleared now.

Gawd, spent whole Saturday rotting in the room, finishing 1.5 pack of TIMTAMS (and 2kgs of blood oranges- no need to emphasize so much cause its not as deadly as chocolates in the diet world)!


F UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU chocolates for being freaking hell addictive! Won't buy you regardless of all the antioxidants you provide. Seriously, for all the calories it contains, people probably look younger from chocolate because it fattens you up and smoothen wrinkles rather than the antioxidant thingy.

Didn't exercise and all I did was EAT. Cause I don't know. Probably deserve a break for working 5 days a week, and also worked out after work that whole 5 days! It was freaking exhausting. Many times I exercised with my eyes half closed -_- Even my heart pumping and all, huffing and puffing, I was still tired but pushing myself. Stand whole day from 9/10am morning till almost 6pm for 5 days and exercised an hour + after that leh!

But feeling guilty. Next week's my birthday, probably celebrate with loads of food and then go back to square 1 =(

Nahhhhhhhh maybe not. Will slack only on my birthday!

I love my legs right now. More like thighs lah.  HAHAHAHAHA. Thanks , cardiovascular.

I used to feel that cellulite are growing all over, but exercise really did fight them off ! Tomorrow got to exercise again!!!! argh.

But have you ever feel that you look a couple years younger RIGHT after a good workout? Each time after exercising, I will look at myself in the full length mirror at gym ... albeit looking gross, sweat everywhere , but hair was pulled off my face and I can see every "pixel" of my face clearly.  Wrinkles was gone, pores was no where in sight...and I feel heaps happier! =D

But like an hour after that they come back la, but still...somehow I feel its fighting age off ! ^^

Why so cheating one!

Sigh, been cheating a lot on my diet lately. Had Kinder Bueno yesterday, and KIT KAT CHUNKY in Cookies and Cream flavour TODAYYYYYY!!!!! 

Just suddenly crave chocolates! Been snacking A LOT on nuts also....and nuts can make me bloat up within a night! Diuzzzzzz.. And I have about a week's supply of nuts. In form of mixed nuts, nut bar, and  also in form of small 1 serving kinda boxes like : 

to control my nut intake (it's also the exact nut brand I have right next to me, tempting me to savour it!). 

Honestly, eating from a bag..regardless of it being 100g to 1kg , I can finish it all in one sitting. 

Nuts are soooo addictive! 

Anyway, I've been working a lot lately, it's exhausting. Regular customers commented that I look tired today, and so, I skipped gym today (eventhough I ate chocolate yesterday and today!). 

But I had a good workout session yesterday night, body ache whole day today morning =D 

Anyway, I also bought salmon to pamper myself :

Cooked my stupid tofu with my mushroom.

I impulse-bought my tofu, thinking it's healthy and I should consume more of it. Then when I had it in my fridge, it was sitting there for 3 days, and me not knowing what to do with it (don't know what style to cook it with). Then I just take out only and stir fry -_-.

I like tofu but in fish soups (too much work and time consuming) , claypot tofu (too fattening), fancy steam tofu with meat on top ( C.B.F.) ...hahaha in the end stir fry only loh.

Taste quite horrible, cause the tofu taste is too strong! Don't know what kind of super organic and authentic tofu I bought. Some more I stir fry only without much taste. In the end, I chow down everything with Tobasco sauce. YUM.

Z END.

Health and grocery shopping!

I love going grocery shopping! In fact I do that like at least 5 times per week.  And the last time I shopped for clothes to change wardrobe was December last year. Can you believe that? I did buy 1 piece of T shirt this year, but that was my uniform for Passionflower, and money spent on that shirt was donated to the Queensland flood.

Usually after gym, I spend about at least 20minutes up to almost 2 hours on my own walking in Supabarn (main super market for Canberra). I really LOVE this place. It is bigger than Coles and Woolsworth (main supermarket for Melbourne), and there are way more varieties of stuffs in there! 

No thanks to my obsession with health lately, I never fail to come home with goodies. Discounted groceries makes me crazy. Few days ago, they had like AUD2 per pack of cherry tomatoes, I bought 8 boxes. -_-

There are just so many things I want to buy! Like Lecithin (for brain and cholesterol), more muesli, more fruits, and I buy cherry tomatoes almost on a daily basis. Just loveeee cherry tomatoes! 

So I am actually broke now because I cook at home, not cause I eat out.

But here's my "loot" for today! 

Iodised Sea Salt, Chili powder and black peppercorns! 

From what I know, about 2 billion people in the world suffers from iodine deficiency - meaning they are at risk of getting goiter (thick big necks). Our body needs very little amounts of iodine, but yet a lot of us don't usually consume them. They are mainly found in sea weed, fishes, and whatever from the sea.

Back in Melbourne, I always eat organic kelps for my daily dose of iodine. Whenever I cook, I'll throw in handful of them.

After moving to Canberra, I just feel uneasy. Panda's mother had goiter, and had to go through years of surgery to remove them. So I'll just do what I can to prevent them!

So benefits of Iodine Salt :
1) Improve Thyroid function
2) Improve Brain Function
3) Healthy pregnancies 
4) Fight depression 
5) Weight Control (woohoo)
6) Irritable Bowel Syndrome
7) Improve Appearance
8) Remove toxins
9) Fights cancer 
10) Heart Health 

Read more yourself from this webbie : http://www.3fatchicks.com/10-benefits-of-using-iodized-salt/

And I bought iodinised sea salt, not processed salt ! heh.


As for the chili powder, some spice in your food will increase metabolism, and if you eat super spicy, can increase up to 50% !

Lastly, the black peppercorns..the benefits read from here ! http://www.naturalremediesblog.net/top-10-health-benefits-of-black-pepper/

Don't want to bore anyone with so much facts !

Ok fine, I summarize :

1) Aid digestion

2) Help relieve cough and colds

3) Can fight cancer

4) MAY help in weight loss

5) Improve skin condition

6) Promotes absorption of nutrients

7) Fight tooth decay :O 

8) Natural anti-depressant

9) Antioxidant

10) Reduce inflammation.

My friend has the normal ground black pepper powder, but I prefer it if I grind it myself, hence buying the black peppercorn with the grinder on top. This is because some of the nutritional stuff in the black pepper can oxidize, so we're just eating for the taste, and it doesn't benefit us that much.

I cooked my dinner just now, used all 3 items that I bought up there. There was a really huge difference between using ready-grounded black pepper and the black pepper I grind fresh. The scent was stronger, the taste was more obvious and I didn't use a lot ! 

Ok this is getting too long.

Bai ! 

A treat!

Woo, its a brand new week, and in 1 week of dieting, you can indulge yourself in fatty / high calorie food approximately 3 times/meals.

Today's Tuesday, and I already indulged TWICE. haha.

Yesterday had fried mihun, curry chicken and fried honey chicken.

Today, =D breakfast ~

At a famous breakie place in Canberra:

Pronounced as "sai lo". Why all these words white people can pronounce when these words sound like chinese, but when we teach them actual chinese words they can't really pronounce. weird. 

CARB & SUGAR HEAVENNNNNNNNNNNNNN :

But even though I let loose a little on my diet, I still eat moderately....(I hope). I don't go entirely crazy with my food and its portion. I didn't eat 3 meals at one go =]

Out of all the choice, I chose ONLY this chocolate thingy :

 T.T The old me would've chose at least 2.

Really yummy !

It's rich and not too sweet. Just nice :o)

Panda's choice:

 Black Forest.

Hehe, even though I only ordered just one Chocolate pie/cheese thingy :

My plate has some smoked salmon and mushrooms.

Heh!

But not too fatty (I hope). Cause I've read somewhere that a slice of cheesecake can contain up to 700calories !!!!!

Arhhhhhhh. My cheesy chocolate thing should be around 400calories?! Lucky it's for breakfast.

After breakfast I went to work, barely ate anything and only sip leftover smoothie for 7 hours, and then ate a raisin bun +  70calories yogurt for dinner!

Not too bad huh !

But skipped gym today =( Supposed to go, but finished work late, and was extremely exhausted.

.....................

Remember I kept bitching about my new boss?
Well, today we bonded.
An irresponsible colleague of mine left work 3 hours early because she's lazy. She gave some lame excuse la, but to cut story short, SHES FKIN LAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So only me and my boss managed Boost Juice TOGETHER!!! My boss is new to Boost because he just bought this business 3-4 months ago. I just turned a month old in Boost today.

From 3pm till 5pm, people just keep coming. Just two of us. Running from register/cashier, to making the drinks (at least 4-5 drinks per time), to washing the jugs, to refilling yogurts (for the drinks), to juicing fresh fruit. WE BOTH DID IT.

Sales for that 2 hours was AUD520. Thats about at least 100+ drinks in 2 hours for 2 person ! It was intense and finish work 2 hours later cause of cleaning.

And my boss said "Wow, we did a good job. Some more your only about 2.5months old. But we did it !"

hehe, I am only a month old, boss.

But he was really impressed that WE (both him and I) made it, just the two of us, and we chatted while cleaning.

There were times we feel like giving up, and my boss even had the "Closing Early" sign standby, but it was just sooo busy that we just do whatever is on hand first. By the time the crowd died down, it was 4.40pm. 20minutes more to the actual closing time. So we might as well go on.

Morale of the story - suffer first and feel happy for enduring.

A Student's life in Canberra, AU.

Although I studied my whole university's life overseas in Melbourne, it doesn't have the campus feeling. I lived independently, renting a place off someone's house when I first arrived in Geelong. The final 2 years, I just moved into Melbourne city, renting a place from an agent.

Since coming to Canberra, and bunking in with my bestie in her student accommodation, I actually felt like I've missed out so much being a uni student! Why did I become so independent so early?

Staying in student accommodation here, all you have to do is just pay 1 flat rate of around AUD1k for a single studio. No water bills, electricity bills nor gas bills to worry about. And you can on your heater 247, shower 3 times a day, and sleep with the lights on ALL THE TIME with no extra charges!!

Anytime whenever your pipeline gets blocked, all you have to do is just report to the receptionist. THEY get their plumber to fix them FREE OF CHARGE!

Each time postmen comes, the receptionist will collect your big bulky parcel for you. No need to find a free day to drop by to the post office to collect it.

It's just so convenient !!!

What made me want to write this is that exam season is approaching, and every room in this whole building gets this :

this is just half the sandwich. Panda ate the other half before she left for work.

It's just so supportive of them.

Furthermore, if you were to have left your key in your room, all you have to do is call the RA (residential advisor). He/she will open your room for just AUD10.

If you were to move out, all you have to do is just pay a compulsory AUD100, for everything, including damages done to the property, broken lights, and cleaning.

If you're renting privately or from an agent!? I got locked once and it costed AUD160 because we need to get a lock smith. I don't use heater at all in Melbourne because bills will go up sky high. Don't cook much because its electric stove - not as cheap as gas. The last time we moved out of the old property , AUD4K bond, becomes AUD2k.

They ate AUD2K - to repaint walls, for cleaning, all the damages lah , as opposed to AUD100 that you have to pay to move out in a student accommodation.

If you're a uni student, try staying in a student accommodation. I am not sure if others are as good as Unilodge Canberra, but shouldn't be too much of a difference!

My body's in pain but I like it =]

Two days ago, after work (5.30pm), after working out ( 7.30pm) and after dinner (fish and veggies ) went for a girls night out. Boy, I had a great time, but how I wish I didn't indulge in fast food and loads of alcohol.

I had at least 3 drinks :

Had to help Panda drink because her tolerance for alcohol is horrible !

My new friend from Canberra and I  :

SHE'S ACTUALLY FROM GEELONG, MELBOURNE! My "hometown" in Australia!  Funny how we meet in Canberra, and her primary school (Roslyn Primary School) is the kids school I walk past to get home everyday in 2008. Nostalgic.

Well, Melbourne club is shit. In Canberra, after club hopping 3 times (every club is walking distance from each other), I've found one comparable to the clubs in KL !!!

 It's called Academy.

Freaking niceeeeeeee, music's good, ambience is beautiful. Only thing is that it's AUD5 per entry, BOOO. Every other club in Canberra its FREE to enter. But beats Melbourne club anytime, cause Melbourne's expensive, AUD15 AT LEAST ! And the ambience....kinda sucks, they never improve!

Pizza sellers outside :

 It was tempting.

It's like every shop was calling out to me to buy PIZZA, and it's only AUD2 or AUD3 (depending on flavours and shops) per slice ! Cheap and yummy looking.

Melbourne should have this! Rather than us all having to go to Melbourne Central to have our supper after clubbing. Actually, maybe not. Cause we might still be tempted to go to restaurants, after eating a slice of pizza outside club. That'll be adding calories !

Better be the one selling then! Good money I assume cause so many people were doing it!

Well, time to weigh my 'food sins' now. Its bad :( The amount of alcohol I consumed its at least 500-600 calories over there. Since I have calories deficit cause I went to the gym before, it's all good.

Until I decided to eat McDONALDS.

My friend wanted to pig-out and she bought a lot ! Imagine 20 piece McNuggets, 1 Chicken McBites (something like popcorn chicken) , 1 large fries, and 1 apple pie. Shared among 2 people. We finished it.

I ate 1 apple pie, 3pieces of nuggets, 3 pieces of McBites,  and half fries.

I used online calculator to calculate the amount of calories I've consumed AT 2AM....

....

FREAKIN  600+ cals !!!! =(

The next day , I bloated up instantly, regardless of me working out at least 1-2 hours 6 days a week for the past 2 weeks.

So the next day, after work (shift ended at 5pm), I told myself to DOUBLE UP WHATEVER SHIT I EXERCISED). I did.

Worked out for at least 2.5 hours. Burnt 700calories purely on cardio (threadmill, elliptical, rowing and exercycle), and I did a lot of weights and abs exercise. Hopefully, I lose 1k calories over there =D That's 1.5x more than my usual exercise routine.

And when I woke up today, ugh, my body is in PAIN. My arms, my legs, my abs tummy. I feel crippled.

But it's a good pain. Signs that I've worked out pretty much almost every part of my body.

I am going to the gym later AGAIN.

This is what I had for breakfast :

Low fat cereals with low fat milk.

That''s about 250 calories I think. Or 300. Better to overestimate than underestimate.

Heading to the gym in 2-3 hours time. =)

Actually, I don't know how much I weigh , but...even if I know, it'll be embarrassing to tell it out here. But I am planning to lose at least 5 kgs!

Counting calories consumed is my daily obsession now.

A LIFE !

This week work like mad.

It's now 3.30am. Tomorrow got work again. ZZzzz.

My temper's pretty bad lately =(  almost want to pick a fight with a fat girl in this club I went to. I may be fat but shes at least twice my size :@ 

She danced without caring which foot she stepped on (MY FRIEND'S) , or who she whacked with her gigantic arms (ME). Imagine a fat girl in a crowded club la, simply flinging her bloody hands and stomping her foot everywhere. I don't know how many times I got whacked and pushed. It HURTS ok! 

Actually I kinda shouted at her (she didn't hear - club too noisy) , but my friend (who's foot got stepped on by that 100+ kg girl) kinda calmed me down, and I ought to be ashamed of myself cause I think getting　ＳＴＥＰＰＥＤ　ＯＮ is worse than helicopter fat heavy hands whacking everywhere. 

Ok I got to be patient. 

At work also, kinda can't tolerate my boss, and shot him an irritated look. He noticed.

UGH !! =( 

Continue tomorrow. 

GOTTA SLEEP!

I really can't stand my boss, even though he's paying us quite well. LE SIGH.

PS. Rant abit.
HOW LA. Everyday get nagged. My boss is new to F&B .He just bought over the business. Don't know anything, yet want to teach me the "right method".  Methods he learn from his bloody training by Boost. Truth is, everyone works better in different method, not just the supposedly "best method" written in black and white. That shit is just for noobies who don't know anything, and thats like a starting point for them.

For eg. I wash jugs damn freaking fast already using my own way, and he has to nag me saying I wash them the wrong/slower way.  So he forced me to use his way, FINE, I did. In the end , guess what he say? "WASH JUG FASTER". 

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Don't let me use my own fast way, but call me wash faster when clearly his way is fucking slow la! PISSYYYYYY THINKING BACK.

How laaaaaaaaaaaaaa everyday I dread work cause of him. Sometimes I think its better to work at a lower paying job but you know, you look forward to work everyday.

I think my temper's horrible, because of the accumulated impatient feeling I got from work. Sick of it.

I feel like a timed bomb about to explode @ my boss. Sigh, and its just 3rd week since I work.

3 weeks of intolerable naggings, wow, I've done well actually. 

Diets. I need a husky.

I have enough of people telling me I look different from last few years!

Especially when I had not one but TWO BLOWS today, people unable to recognize me on the streets. They said I looked tired. Eyebags more visible. Put on weight. I looked more energetic last time.

So I stumbled upon a blog , recommending a simple detox plan :

well I like all those fruits stated up there, and it's only for 3 days!

Most detox I've read about lasts as long as a week. Wah, CBF (can't be f*ked) doing it :S

Bought a 1 way ticket to Canberra, leaving as soon as next Thursday...me and my bestie, we can do this losing weight together =D

"I need a Husky" means I am fat.

"You need a Husky" means you're fat.

Lame, but few days ago, at a friend's house warming...met this pet lover that said Husky is one of the most high maintenance/difficult dog to take care of. When the weather is hot, they need to be kept in a room with airconditioner ON. 

Worse thing is that, THEY NEED TO BE WALKED 4KM ! 

4km per day is a lot of walk. Last time I run on the threadmil 3km a day, everyday, within 1 month lost 5kg.   4KM???

I REALLY NEED A HUSKY ! heh.  

It's a more indirect way to tell a fat person that they need to lose weight, too! haha.

Weird habits.

Updating from my iPod touch now cause watched show with Eddie on the bed and it's out of battery and am tooooo lazy to use my computer next to it's charger.

I think I have quite a number of habits, some normal some not.. So I'm going to list them down from most normal to least normal.

❤1. Clean my fork and spoon etc before eating with the tissue provided before using, if don't have, I will secretly clean with my own shirt. Hehe guess my mom is my biggest influence here (except for the shirt part). I got laughed at before by a guy on a date. He ask me how many bacteria can I kill by wiping with a tissue wtf.

❤2. Rinse everything in the kitchen with water eventhough it's already been cleaned and dried! I just dont feel safe using utencils, bowls or plates that has been left there for more than a minute. Always give it a rinse nomatter how irritated people look at me!

❤3. Count my calorie intake. I use to do this all the time since 14 and stopped 3 months ago. Starting tomorrow immediately again. Had a mild heart attack when I weighed myself at a departmental store today. FML.

❤4. Massage my eye bags. I hate eyebags. I massage it everytime I look into the mirror cause people say it can grow smaller if massage! (WELL ITS NOT TRUE T.T BUT I DO IT, HOPING FOR A MIRACLE)

❤5. Pout when I look into the mirror. Actually people say I do that without me knowing it!

Last but not least , pinch myself before going peeing or pooping. Got story one. Last time when I was not that young, I peed on my bed. FML ! My mom was pissed and was kinda shock cause I still pee in my sleep at that age( below 10 yo still la)!!! In my defense, I actually dreamt that I was peeing in a toilet! And until now im just really worried if it's going to happen ever again so I pinch myself to ensure/double confirm that I'm not actually sleeping!

I had out of body experience before, pinching does work to determine if you are awake or sleeping!

YEAH !

Just received my IELTS results from snail mail today =D 

Well, my result is not GREAT, but at least I am slightly better than minimum requirement la, to apply for TR. 

I look grumpy sial in the photo! It was taken when I was extremely nervous - right before my Speaking exam.

Anyway, I am happy with my Speaking, scored higher than what I've expected... cause I thought I'll get like 6.5 (cause I stuttered and was very nervous, some more talk bad about my family business!) , but super disappointed with my writing.

Seriously, how come 7 !!! I thought I am better than that ! Sigh.

Reading...maybe I didn't have enough time to check. The article was really boring anyway, one of it is an article about getting electricity from waves. Went to pee during reading, and the freaking toilet is damn far away. Seriously, I always get all the stomachaches and urges to pee during exams. Many times already. Never see that happen when I sit infront of my computer for 5 hours straight.

Exam 2-3 hours, pee 2 times or shit once. Sit in front of computer say whole night, only pee once, and what, shit once every few days (fml - I've SOME constipation problem, actually better now after eating muesli for breakfast.)

Whatever lah, no use complaining. ^^ At least I don't have to re-do my IELTS.

Between Good User and Very Good User (/tiu - my msn emoticon).

Noteworthy : I am a very good listener =D 

Birthday wishes - they do come true :)

Nah, its not my birthday.

Just going to randomly talk about all the birthday wishes I made thus far, and they really did come true! Even though it took a few years to materialise, still, a wish come true is something !

Initially I posted a really old picture of mine, taken 2 years ago but decided its kinda ugly and changed to this! Nicer yeah!?

Every year on my birthday, I make only 1 wish. People say can make 3 wishes, but for me, I only wish for one special thing/goal per birthday, and if it doesn't come true, I'll wish the same thing the following year.

All the stupid dumbass wishes I regret making was :

1. When I was 11 years old, I wished to NOT have period. Girls just hate periods. They are actually really irritating, especially when you have period cramps and heavy leakage. Talking about the wish, then came this stage whereby I became morbidly obese and had period once every 6 months. I was over the moon! Until 15 years old, when I learnt that no period = cannot give birth, I wish for it to come back, and it did! But now its a bit unstable, because I am stressed :( 
2. I use to have a LOT of hair when I was in primary. After that no-period wish, I wished for myself to have less hair, because my mushroom hairstyle looks ugly with LOADSA hair. 16years old, I was suddenly balding. I swear! No pictures, but you can go question all my cousins and Panda. Then I told Birthday Wish Master that I regret my wish, please take it back, and recently , people has been commenting that I have a lot of hair ! :)

Another wish I made was to slim down. I made that wish in hopes that I will be accepted by my friends at school. And I did slim down from before, but I am now growing fat, but its my own fault for not maintaining it. How did my willpower became so strong to exercise and lose weight all of a sudden?

So now, I got a feeling that my 4th wish is about to come true ...not saying what it is.

Maybe they are all pure coincidence, and/or hard work. But I believe that I am heard by someone, somewhere.

Today is a normal day. Was really happy when I heard what was being said to me and about me, until I came back and argued with Eddie, which made it a neutral day. 

But this wish is really going to give some disappointment to a few people who are close to me.

  I'm sorry ! :( you will hear my bad news soon.

Beauty woes.

1) To look pretty/YOUR BEST with thick make up that spoils skin...that later leads to bad skin condition/pale face is better 

OR

2) To look not so pretty without make up at all? But your looks will stay that way...won't deteriorate much from the chemicals of the make up?

Honestly, I find myself asking that question everyday...whether to look better fake, or look uglier/ original. 

Last time I was damn confident to go outside with absolutely no make up. 

Since I started working, I then learnt more about make up stuffs and know how to enhance my dull features and start piling those shytz into my face.

After quite sometime of slight make up to thick make up everyday, I decided to just quit make up for few days. I found that my face actually look SLIGHTLY distorted and very colourless ! I don't look like myself few years back - the time whereby I RARELY put make up ! 

❤1 Without make up (only moisturizer slabbed on my face, absolutely nothing else). TBH, its one of my best picture. Others are just....atrocious!  

❤2 With BB cream on my face , mascara and darkened my eyebrows.

❤3Everything slabbed on my face..eyeliner,mascara,eyebrow darkening...

❤4 With thick make up, I am more confident to make "ugly" faces.

Do I look very different? Although a lot of people said I don't look very different with or without make up (at least not like those shown in Taiwanese reality shows), but still, I went ahead to destroy my skin -_-

I mean I know absolutely all the hot girls out there with thick make up, probably are facing a more severe problem than I do. But how can they live, showing the pretty side, knowing that their skin is dying inside? Knowing that, they are damaging their skin each day they put the inches thick make up .

on a side note: your skin ages 5  -7 days in one night, if you don't remove your make up. This is how bad make up is for you.

I want to do that but yet I don't want. Le sigh. They can hide away forever, but I don't like hiding away in my room each time I am without make up. I want to be confident everywhere, with/without make up.

I've been depressed ever since Eddie said "You look better last time naturally, now ...all the make up seems to take up all the colours off your face"


=[ seriously, boo hoo.

Summation of 2010 and on to the next stage of life at 2011

Since everyone is doing this kinda blog post, I better be doing it also. No pictures, cause my page is LAGGY, with previous post having 30+ photos, almost 40.

Early 2010, my life was already kinda predicted...by my auntie.

The predictions were all kinda right I guess. My aunt predict that 2010 will be a successful year for me. And indeed it is. I graduated, despite skipping class for a whole year ! haha.

And also, predictions that I WILL PUT ON WEIGHT. True enough, I've gained whatever I lost 2 years ago.

So cut the crap, I'll start with 2011 new year resolution :

1) Cut the fat. Aiming at least 5-10 kgs.
2) Make my parents proud in whatever I do
3) Get a job and be financially independent
4) Rearrange everything in my room, rebuilding a nice new homely room in Malaysia
5) Learn MANDARIN and a MAYBE a musical instrument?
6) Learn table manners, be really well groomed and polite
7) Read at least 1 book a week, to improve my deteriorating English
8) Learn how to cook home cooked food from my mom
9) Be less flabby, healthy and happy.
10) Build an interesting personality and confidence.

I realise I am a dull person with nothing to talk about. Some people can spontaneously come up with stuff, and are very knowledgeable about stuffs.

oh, and another thing, I MUST WATCH AMERICAN SHOWS to keep up with conversations.

People everywhere tweeting and talking about HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. ZZzz and GOSSIP GIRL.

KK going to sleep.
continue tomorrow

=/

http://mic-bebe2nd.blogspot.com/2010/12/love-yourself-and-not-contribute-sins.html?zx=d9e505b1001a44c2

A date at Peko Peko

No work today, so went out on a date with Eddie. He went dinner at a really good place yesterday with friends and he couldn't wait to bring me there. So immediately today, he brought me to this restaurant call Peko Peko. Cute name huh ! 2 days in a row he eat in the same restaurant somemore -_- 

1.The menu :  

A lot of choices, and I don't know which to choose. So bf did the choosing for me! But I chose the entree. 

2. The Ambience :

3. The decoration on the table ! 

Crikey! Little things like this .. quite fun to play, especially when you're bored while waiting for food, and your camera's battery is low, which means only limited time to use your camera. That's Eddie's hand btw.

4. But I'll never give up shots of us :

My camera was on at that time, and that time was very precious. TOO BAD HE WAS TALKING HAHAHA. Wore specks cause of my eye infection, but its healed! After 1 day of not wearing contact lens.

5. Our Entree : TAIWANESE SAUSAGE!! 

I really love Taiwanese sausage, but this one is super overpriced. AUD7 for super small servings (size of 2 cocktail sausages?) ! But no doubt la, its really nice! 

6.The rice dish he chose (for me) , pork and mushroom :

Very homely kinda food.

7. His sweet and sour chicken:

Forgot to take pictures of it when it arrived, and my bf thought to cover the eaten parts with his hands. Hehe. 

8. Him eating :

I ended up liking his one more than mine, and we swapped food. Woohoo. The sweet AND SOUR fried chicken is really nice loh. I like sour stuff ! 

And the winner of the whole meal : 

9. Earl Tea Panacota (forgot how to spell, fml) with sesame ice cream :

I love the Panacota!!!!

Overall, a good day, though in the end I did emo, infront of him somemore. I hate emoing infront of my bfs..never like them to see me crying. 

Oh well, its kinda depressing, being in a relationship thats ending in the near future. It actually hurts! WTF. Never thought it would affect me this way. Fuck it.  

Random quotes that I stumbled on random people's emo tumblr :

My worst nightmare: That one day, any girl will take my spot. That one day a girl will sit with you, laugh with you, smile with you, & have a good time with you. That one day a girl will realized that you’re amazing. That one day that girl becomes your girlfriend. That one day she takes my spot for good. That one day you will forget about me because you’re busy thinking about her. Yeah, that scares me the most. Because, I want to be that girl. I want to be only girl. I don’t want anyone to take my spot. Why? Because, if anyone takes my spot; there won’t be anyone else who can take yours … which is probably going to be the worst reminder that I lost my spot to her.

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