Really long post. I want to remember everything that happened for the 10 days in Penang.
But if I delay further, I am going to forget what I have experienced throughout that 10 days in Penang. It was quite erm, spiritual ?? supernatural? no scientific explanation to whatever that was being felt?
I never really believe that the paranormal world exist, cause I never felt them before, what more see them. But I shall start from the first day I arrived Penang, till Saturday. The best for the last what ^^.
Wednesday
In the morning at 10am, my mom called me on the phone to pack my bag, take in all the dry washed clothes , fold them, boil water so that my dad and brother won't die of thirst cause those two adults have always been lazy to boil water for drinking purposes *typed with loads of sarcasm*, get her the bus' number to book tickets to Penang, call people to see if anyone is free enough to send us to the bus station, Facebook-ed abit to tell some people that I am leaving for Penang cause my handphone is LOW ON CREDIT, call my boyfriend on the housephone.....all till 2.45pm, I was running around my house, because my grandma is very very ill.
My mum reached home from work, then her turn to pack. Our bus is at 3pm, my mum was still packing away at 2.45pm, until I rushed her. My auntie speed to the bus station, got some jam also, but in the end we reached IN TIME, but have not bought the bus tickets (call also no use, can't get through). My mum ran towards the bus with our luggage to halt the bus from leaving whilst I ran into the building, sprinted to the top floor and buy our tickets, running back down and into the bus. WE MADE IT !
Reached Penang, my grandmother was still very much alive. Whilst we are on our way, she actually had enough energy to bitch about my mom to my auntie (mum's sister, grandmother's daughter) in Teochew saying " wait for my mum wait until 100 hours also haven't arrive".
Well, I held my grandmother's hand for the first time ! and massaged her legs.
Went to eat dinner, and I was very terrified to learn that my mum AND I will be sleeping in the same room as my grandmother and the maid. Reason being my grandmother might pass away anytime, and the maid kept dreaming of two headed female ghost wandering around in the room. Plus the very scary "namo amitabha" song on repeat. I cannot sleep without silence :( and I had a task, i.e. press the 'play' button everytime when the namo amitabha song CD finishes. The cd player is too old, no repeat function.
Couldn't sleep. My grandmother couldn't sleep either. Kept moaning in pain and wanting to talk to my mother. I still remember she said she want to go toilet but her legs cannot move, and my aunt and mother kept calling her to pass motion on the spot, and they will help her clean.
She kept asking where are her rings, no one knows what she meant, and took my mum's rings for her to feel. Gosh, I felt like I cheated her.
Slept at 7am.
Thursday
Woke up at 1pm, greeted by a whole lot of my Penang relatives, all came to visit and take care of my grandmother whilst my mum, aunt and I went to buy groceries. Cause since we're living in my uncle's house, we thought it'll be better not to be parasites further, and bought our own food and water.
My grandmother's condition deteriorated. More towards semi coma? She can no longer talk because she cannot wash her kidneys anymore (the kidney dialysis?) and the toxic went into the system and messed with her brain cells. She cannot wash her kidneys because her blood pressure is too low. If the blood pressure goes lower than 30, people might even die during a kidney dialysis, and the last thing any dying person wants is to die in a hospital (more non-scientific explanation later)
Nightfall is always the freakiest time of the day. My grandmother kept looking up..at one particular spot and her hands kept like chasing away stuffs that I cannot see. My mum kept telling me its the 'dirty stuffs' that came to want to take away her soul but my grandmother didn't want to leave this world, hence the hand gestures. My grandmother never sleep anymore.
She made extra more noise, maybe cause I think her internal body is hurting her. Apart from kidney failure, her livers failed....and I just got to know that she had colon cancer,too. So it got to be really painful. My mum this night was darn freaky also. Kept chanting her prayers really loudly, calling my grandmother to follow the light and not her friends in the other dimension. Cannot sleep at all. Grandmother in pain, mom chantings , shared the same bed with my aunt which felt quite awkward, the Namo amitabha song playing , and the maid's snoring.
Slept at 8am, in the living room again. Cannot take it.
Friday
Woke up at 12pm. My grandmother's face changed colour. Her legs begun to feel cold.
Had lunch and immediately went out to buy all the funeral clothes and shoes (white tshirts, black pants and black slippers) for the whole Penang relatives. It was bags and bags of clothings! Tiring. Lacking sleep, overworked my body but yet I gained loads of weight.
Night time, everyone thought my grandmother's leaving. At 11pm, my cousins, and all my aunts and uncles was kneeling and praying till 12.30am and my grandmother was still shaking her head. It was funny at that point though I cried like mad the first half an hour. I want her to go but yet I don't want her to go. Everyone waited till around 1am, but my grandmother's pulse was still quite strong, so everyone headed back home, leaving me, mum and aunt to take care again.
My aunt found the rings and a packet of clothes that my grandmother bought for herself. The type of clothes that people wear when they sleep in the coffin. My heart dropped when I found out that my grandmother went to buy the clothes that she was going to wear when she die..and all the pearl rings, necklace, earrings, and bracelets that she prepared and bought herself. Imagine if its you, buying clothes for yourself, knowing you are going to die soon. Why pearls? Old people believe that wearing pearls will light up your way and act as the source of light (like torch light in the spirit world).
But I guess it was too late to let her know that we found it, cause she was already very weak and not knowing what is going on. So my aunt all told us that if we think she is about to breathe her final breath, put the clothes on top of her body and also her accessories.
This time I slept between the snoring maid and my mother. Ugh, hate that maid. Snore so super loud like a man. Noise pollution.
Went to the living room to sleep again at 9am, woke up at 2pm. Everyone was exhausted, having little and uncomfortable sleep (on a 1 seater sofa, but I found out a way to sleep comfortably after so many time spent on the sofa.)
Saturday
When I woke up at 2+pm, my mum was already making calls to my auntie who went out for her children I think, cause my grandmother seems lifeless and her face was darn pale, and she isn't moving much already.
Eddie arrived Penang, planned to go out together to Batu Ferringhi to buy super cheap pirated DVDs but grandmother passed away at 4.30pm :(. He wanted to visit, but too late. My grandmother never got to see any of the guys I dated ! aih.
She was already puking all her gall bladder greenish fluid. I knew its going to happen anytime, and I closed my eyes. Only my two aunts saw. My mum was too blur. My mum was in the living room sleeping in the noon cause she stayed up all night, then my aunt call me to call my mum. I called, my mum enter my grandmother's room, and kept asking why why why (total blurness) , no one answered my mom but only watch, and I was right outside the room looking (eyes open, hands over my eyes, blocking my view).
So she passed away.
And it got busy, so Eddie couldn't drop by (his mom rather visit her friends anyway :( ) . Need to make police report, make death certificate, call the funeral parlour people, need to go buy coffin, arrange what food to cater to visitors, writing names for reporters for obituary...all immediately.
I was arranging furnitures, kneeling, praying, folding the hell notes and figuring how the hell to write my chinese name and which one to use. I suck. My chinese name changed like 4-5 times already until I don't know which one to use, no thanks to my mum and her fortune telling sessions, telling my mom different chinese characters for my name. The obituary was all printed more into chinese newspaper, so all chinese..
and fuck Malaysian police. No respect for them at all. They came to check my grandmother's body for the death certificate, and shouted " MANA BODY ? MANA BODY?" in a rude tone once they reached the main door like its their house.
Saturday was counted as the first day. After grandmother passed away, my mom and I moved upstairs our stuff upstairs in the spare room. The whole living room had my cousins and uncles all spreaded everywhere. Everyone sleeping everywhere.
And cannot wash hair for FIVE DAYS (holy shyt). They say if we wash hair with shampoo, its like washing our grandmother's eye with shampoo = pain. Can wash with water only.
Sunday
Early morning, have to perform some rituals, to move my grandmother's body into the coffin. Whole noon fold the hell notes and pray and burn and eat and entertain guest. Evening that time, pray like hell until almost midnight, risking myself to lung cancer.
My dad and brother arrived. My dad is one funny person. He used to NOT believe in Taoism/Bhuddist and the burning of joss sticks and those hell notes, but he gave in this time, but the whole time complaining he is allergic to smoke.
I think I looked pretty stressed, my dad tempted me with shopping trips and money, to follow him back to the hotel, follow him home and rest.
6.30pm prayed until 11.30pm.
My mum and I stayed till 2-3am, while talking to my other uncles (bonding time) who's going to take care of my grandmother's burning incense, making sure to replace them if they burn out.
Monday
same old routine (sad, forgot whatever that happened, except the fact that my brother and dad purposely came late for those rituals, lol) prayed till midnight and clear up rubbish till late.
Oh,
The paper house came. Fold the hell notes (kim chua) until my index finger so pain eh. and I got food poisoning. WT*!
Tuesday
The praying rituals were pretty interesting for today. All the priest danced and all to retrieve my grandmother's spirit and also my late 2nd uncle who passed away 16 years ago at age 34- no thanks to cancer.
Freaky thing was right before the next step to go out of the house to burn the paper house for my grandmother and uncle, it rained heavily. Well they say my grandmother's crying. It's all bizarre and loads of coincidence for me.
All the grandsons have to hold the paper thing for my grandmother future transportation (the thing where someone sit inside, and 4 people outside carry by hand one), I carry the silver money (cause my rank lower, I'm my mother's daughter - gua soon), my girl cousin (mother's brother's daughter - lai soon in hokkien) from my mother's side carry the gold money. My mother and her sister carry a bottle of tea, my 3rd uncle carry my grandmother's spirit doll, my 2nd uncle's son carried his spirit.
Have to write down for future references! Youngster nowadays don't know anything - kena nagged by the funeral parlour fella.
My grandmother came (dad's side). She's kinda brave. So old already, dare to see people pass away.
Wednesday
The funeral.My mum cried like mad. Went to the grave yard. Walked on the roads , went back, wash with the flower water to ward away spirits,incase any followed us back from the grave. Reach home, bath, washed my hair thoroughly with shampoo.
Thursday
rest. Dug out a whole lot of my mom's old photos when she was young at 11+pm.
Friday- aka the 7th day
Saw my mother's first boyfriend's photo also ! My mom last time damn pretty!! ^^.
When I saw the photos, was pretty spooked. 12+ am I went to the room I was going to sleep for the night with my mother, carrying two photo albums of my mum, and the other old photos of my late uncle, her siblings and of course my grandmother.
I talked to my mother till 2am. She slept. I couldn't sleep, so I went through her photos again. Then like the corner of my eyes like I see something moving, and I turned, it was nothing. So I continue seeing those photos again, but again I felt the same thing. Its like something wants me to see 'it'.
Then I tried sleeping, when I was about to doze off, like the second before you actually fall asleep..I suddenly feel very awake. My eyes just want to open. I felt very scared cause all kinds of thoughts coming into my head, so I took my mother's photo again to see (forgot to bring a book, its the only thing to do- see my mother's old photos).
*off track abit*
My mom was really really very pretty, and so was her first boyfriend. Quite good looking, and romantic. He sent photos of himself to my mom and behind those photos, he wrote stuffs. Every time I read them, I felt envy. I always wanted guys to write rather than email :( . The E-Generation sucks. His English was good, he sounded really shy and well-mannered, good looking, nice handwriting, and carved my mother's name on a stone in London and took picture with it, gosh, I would marry him. Only thing was that he's short. My mum dumped him for my dad. My dad not handsome (saw his younger photos when he was dating my mom, too), and I look like him, FML!!!
Conclusion, I can't stop seeing those photos, cause I like to imagine myself looking different if my mom were to marry this guy or the other guy (she got a whole lot of photos of guys going after her). But her first boyfriend is the most good looking one, second only my dad. Others cannot see. LOL. I kept asking her why don't want to keep in touch with your first boyfriend? Then my mom answered "Cannot, where got people keep in touch with their ex boyfriends, later your dad jealous." So traditional! I asked for his name so that I can google him or something also my mom don't want to tell.
*back to the topic*
After I stop looking across the room, suddenly I felt pressure on my bottom half of my body! Like someone lying softly on them. I quickly close the photo albums, take the blanket, cover myself from top to toe, and slept.
The reason I wasn't that scared was because I was tired of being scared. The first 5 days of my grandmother's passing, a lot of people felt wierd stuffs, like sudden chills on the body , wierd spooky dreams (the Indonesian maid), sudden rain, cold wind in the house ..etc.
I didn't know the meaning of 7th day until it was noon time. My auntie who was widowed (2nd uncle's wife) told me that when my second uncle passed away, the 7th day, the electric gate suddenly open and close. And my First Aunt smelt his scent in the kitchen. Another story was that my widowed aunt, when her dad passed away, the 7th day, people heard showers at the time he usually take his bath in the morning.
Then only it hit me in my mind that 7th day is when the soul comes back and realise they are really dead (suddenly remembered from all the HongKong TVB dramas I watched)! The first 6 days they still don't know they died cause they were given a magic potion to drink(that was what my aunt told me).
When I heard it, I trembled with fear and did not dare to go anywhere in the house without anyone. Watched movie on the television with people in living room and kept my urine in also till it's past midnight.
Saturday
I told my mum about what I felt after I reach KL, and I asked her if when the spirit comes back, they only do things they usually do when they are alive, like taking a shower in the toilet or they can wander around the whole house.
My mom said they can go everywhere in the house, and she said its not surprising that I felt stuffs because the room we stayed was grandmother's room. I was shocked and was in horror because I didn't know that!!!! My grandmother suffers from insomnia like me, too...
I told my Penang cousin on MSN about the fact that I felt something, and that it was our grandmother's room...he answered me "Yeah, I know that. She fell down in that room also".
Almost can faint. Everyone knows that its my grandmother's room, and that she fell down there (since she fell down, she was hospitalised, immediately got kidney failure, followed by liver failure few months after, and then found some cancer in her colon). So the room was the last place when she was healthy.
No one bother to tell me. I felt quite cheated ! Everyone knows I am a scardy cat thats why purposely don't want to tell me :(
About the fact that why no one wants to die in the hospital was because last time,my mother's father passed away, he died in the hospital. Then my mom told me that few years later, when she went to see a medium that can let my mom talk to her father...my mom told me that her father was crying, saying he's suffering because there are a lot of evil spirits in the hospital, and they are making him work for the hospital. So she concluded that its bad to die in the hospital. Die at our own home is the best.
THE END.
No comments:
Post a Comment