The future.

Been spamming my Twitter this whole day. Been feeling extremely emotional. Thought to just write it here, than affect other people/friends who are following me. Don't know if they even bothered reading anyways.

Initially I wrote "If you want me to stay,  offer me something that no one else can. All I ask for is stability loyalty happiness". But deleted it. Should spare people from seeing my tweets like almost 10x today already.

Honestly, I really don't mind a future of us here in Australia. Lifestyle at the moment is good. Earning money weekly, and can afford almost anything I want at the moment by just working 1 week.

Only thing is, I love and miss my family back home, but what can I say ? A partner is someone who will be with you for the rest of your life, not your parents.  Parents will go one day when the time comes, and so I have to open my big eyes to choose a partner that will stick on.

Not that I am ditching my parents. I WILL take care of them wholeheartedly, sincerely and with every might that I have. As long as I am living, I will do whatever it takes, whenever they need help or don't need help, if I am there, I will volunteer to save them from ANY form of hassle.

Sigh. What a life.
Stuck between a boyfriend who loves me wholeheartedly and wants me in Australia, and my parents who love me unconditionally.

How to choose? I've met a good guy, but I can't seem to digest the idea of seeing my parents once or twice a year. I don't know.

1 year ago, I have to make a decision but decided that I need more time.., 1 year later, I am still stuck in the exact same position.

Why am I so indecisive? Why is it so hard? Which will be the best decision? How do I deal with separation with either one of them ?

4 years ago, when Eddie was stuck in Malaysia, and almost got banned from Australia, I prayed to God, telling Him that I really need him (then) in Australia, and I will deal the other tough challenges after I graduate (Eddie has always have plans staying in Australia & I have always wanted to go home).

Time just flew and now, 4 years later...when the time has come it is indeed FXXXing tough...considering the fact that we've spent almost everyday of this 4 years together, and with a little separation, we both die a little inside.