Weight issues ( like whats new right ? -_-)

Ok, got to write stuffs here before my friends all complain I spam my Twitter too much.

Lately , being unemployed ,I have been watching A LOT of reality shows. Not a lot as in varieties, but loadsa episodes from Hell's Kitchen,  and my current favourite ...Supersize VS Superskinny.

Hell's Kitchen is bad for me - for one, toooooo much food talking which made me wanting to eat ALL THE TIME. And also, as you all know, it's the foul mouth Gordon Ramsey who's the host, and guess who the new Gordon Ramsey yo ?! -_- MUA. Been using "stupid cow" and "dumbo" on Eddie. Lucky he doesn't feel anything HAHA.

Supersize VS Superskinny...I absolutely love this show. Not only they're made in the UK (sexy accent man) but also, I can really related to this reality show because they bring together an obese and a skinny person, to swap their food for 5 days. Meaning for 5 days, obese person eat skinny person's food (and portion), and vice versa. A qualified doctor is the host of the show. There are a lot more to it , watch it for yourself. I want to talk about me now.


I was both morbidly obese before, and also suffered anorexia during high school ( I am not stick skinny because it was short lived la, dad found out). SEE , fucking weight issues & peer pressure.

When I was reaching the peak of my weight (approx 13 years old), I only knew that food makes me happy. I didn't know how to lose weight then, cause I thought we'll keep growing and growing as we age. I thought fat/obese is the way I am suppose to look from birth, as how skinny people are suppose to look. I thought looks are destined. Not something we can change.  Guys made fun of me the whole time. Whilst I secretly liked a few guys before, I hated guys more than anything. I liked them but I always imagined a future life of me alone in a hut (of all kinds of houses) and a cupboard full of my big baggy comfy clothes -_-

Until that one fateful day, I can't take it anymore, and having someone to believe in me for the first time,  it was world-changing. Read more here

Then it took me 3 years to slim down to look like a normal overweight girl. I was really happy when I can finally fit into an XXL size, and didn't have to tailor make my school uniform... And at 16 years old, I turned anorexic. I remembered eating Jacob's high fibre low-salt biscuit/cracker.

 2-5 pieces per day, for 2 weeks ! Some days I skipped eating altogether and just drink water. On top of that, I exercised. Little - no food and exercise. I lost 6kg in an instant. But my skin was yellow and pale, I look lifeless and I was balding ! Well friends complimented that I am looking better as I got skinnier, but dad thought otherwise. He noticed almost immediately that I was suffering from anorexia. The first week I lied to him that I ate already before going out dinner with them family. Second week I tried the same thing, but he just told me off to "I WANT TO SEE YOU EAT AND FINISH UP YOUR RICE.DON'T BE STUPID"

Well, my dad is quite smart la, so that exact sentence kinda woke me up actually. Didn't know how that simple sentence made me realise I was doing it all wrong, and I started eating normally. That 6 kgs...came back almost immediately (took less than a week!)


Okay, back to the show..

I find it really unfair. I actually eat as much as those "Super Skinny" people. Maybe there are many other factors, but still, we ate little calories.  I always limit myself to approximately 1.4k calories per day.

As I may post a lot of food pictures, portraying that I eat a lot, it's actually quite the opposite. I eat normally. Some girls I know, eat fruits only the whole day. But I have more varieties.

Like whenever I eat outside, I always leave 1/4 to half my portion untouched. Hardly finish my food, unless I skipped a meal. If I cooked, its mostly soupy based stuff, or things with a lot of veggies + fish and hardly any oil. Whenever I eat bread, it's usually 1-2 slices for a meal. If I do eat 3-4 slices, it's brunch.

Heck, lately I eat damn little :( Starving most of the days because I don't have money to eat. Like today, I ate 2 small slices of bread and 1egg omelet for brunch, and ate outside noodles half portion for early dinner. At night when I got hungry, I drank bubble tea -_- (green lemon tea with rainbow jelly and aloe vera, less sugar). I only consumed about 1k calories at most today ! I walked a lot today too :( So 2bread +1egg, half plate noodle and 1 bubble tea today.


But why am I not even near their weight !? 

Some days I do binge eat, but its like say less than 10 days a year?

Haihs.