sigh,
I think I'm really selfish emotionally.
to love someone equals to accepting their pasts, right?

but sometimes knowing that the one you're with, have had a first love, and everyone knows first love is something that you'll never forget till the day you die, the one they put the most effort in, the one that their feelings is at its strongest ....it's for the first love.

it's kind of sickening!!!!

-knowing that the person you're with, isn't going to remember you as the "special first love", knowing that someone out there still holds this special place in his heart, knowing that you're just going to be "the next girl" on the ongoing list of girlfriends.

nomatter how ugly she is, nomatter how bad tempered, nomatter how selfish, how cruel she was to end things, she still holds that special piece of your life and she still stand the most beautiful of all beautiful people you meet.

Everytime I started dating, I always WISH that the guy have never had any girlfriend before. I hate it if a guy has strings of ex-girlfriends, it just makes my value even lesser. Never dated guys with more than 2 exes before.

I just want to be THE ONE ALWAYS to the guy who loved me and whom I loved before or am still loving.

When will I learn to accept people's past? snatch that place that ought to be mine to begin with (I WISH)? hahaha.

Is this too much to ask for?