Am I fat?

Is the question I ask my boyfriend EVERY FRICKEN DAY we talk to each other.

Not only that, I also asks if

"I put on weight"


"My make up is nice"


"I look good in this"


"He noticed my double eyelid" (sometimes I wake up with double eyelids but nowadays my double eyelids are kinda permanent :D )


Why?

Because we're insecure like that.

I know, not every girl is like me, and not every guy can tolerate this.

But, a positive remark WILL make me/us feel better.

Some of us are so insecure, even a 1mm increase on our eyelids, we jump for joy and feel prettier already. Guys hit on us, we can brag whole day and whole night, but if someone insults us, we'll remember it and feel crappy till the end of time.

Well, maybe I am extreme. Cause all my LIFE, I've been judged based on my looks.

When I was obese - talk of the town, slimmed down - talk of the town & society nowadays isn't very kind. It should make me stronger - true, but my scarred heart can only take so much.