Brokened trust.

He said to me that only during the first year of our relationship...he felt that we're meant to be.

Its our 4th year together this year.

Just because of one stupid lie I made last time, the trust is gone.  A lie that was made, to protect him. To make him less sad, but it was all misunderstood.

Cause he knew something from long time ago, that drove him EXTREMELY BERSERK, almost called the police. I was worried he'll react the same way, and all I did was tell this friend who was there to not tell him anything. Is this wrong?

That fucking guy (who's his friend,too) betrayed me and told him everything. I am super tempted to delete him off my Facebook, fucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've learned. I know how to protect myself now. I didn't even freakin put on make up to club whilst I was at the ALCOHOL AND SEX camp. I wore a dress with full length pitch black thick tights underneath while other girls dance with just bra and panties?


OH SO SEXY OF ME , AYE?

I WAS EVEN ON "SOBER DUTY" (duty to be sober to take care of other new girl I've met)!

Do I even look like I'll have sex with random people? Am I even attractive enough to be hit on ALL THE TIME?  BY 18 YEAR OLDS? C'mon man, I'd be super fucking turned off. They are TOO FREAKING YOUNG FOR ME.

I am also facing an identity crisis. I don't know whats the core of my personality. I am bitchy and mean at times, but also very nice and kind on the other hand. So right now, I am just antisocial, or weird. Treating you super nice one minute, and horrible the next.

There are a lot of hot chicks in the camp, that I am like stuck at every guy's blind spot. Loserish guys that can't go for hot chicks only TRIED talking to me. Being a proud person, I don't take losers. I am too good for them. AND I'M NOT THAT CHEAP.

I'm no paedophile.  They are, after all, YEARS younger than me. FTS. No matter how cute/good looking they are...they're still kids.