Bitch Shield.

I am disheartened. With so many things.

The way I look, my job, my age, and I keep wondering, why the fuck am I in Melbourne. Getting bullied all the time, getting backstabbed..feeling all depressed 247.

Since the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear meltdown, I've been depressed. I am just worried, what if something happen to Australia or Malaysia, knowing that I am never to see my family again...that is a very sad thought that can drive me to tears.

Also, have you ever feel that..being a horrible person, people tend to want to please you, rather than use you? Well remember I said I have a split personality at times (I am going psycho), when I was bitchy, people tend to be a little frighten, and will think twice before using you.

When I am nice? People use me like shit, and after using me, they bitch about me.

Have you ever felt that...people who use you have this thinking that you'll NEVER be better than them.

Fuck it. 

I need what my friends call....the Bitch Shield.

I think the world is too cruel for me to be nice anymore.

People judge you by the way you look, your social status, the way how you are accepted into social circles.

Inner beauty ? FTS.

I am a changed person from now on.